I have been single now for about a month. This is the first time in almost two years that I find myself single, and it can be rather scary. I think the most terrifying part about it, is that I'm finally happy. If I have no desire to do something, I don't have to. I don't have to compromise anymore. Which sounds incredibly selfish, but as someone in her early twenties, it's is a fantastic feeling.
I would lie to you if I said that I haven't been talking to someone and while we did go on a date Friday, I'm not worried about what happens next. If it works, that's great, if it doesn't, its not the end of the world. So many women, myself included, discuss how they lose themselves in their relationships. One of my personal heroes is Liz Gilbert, and when I saw Julia Roberts playing Liz, talking about loving herself, dots just started to connect and I just felt so relieved that this wasn't just me, and that there are always other options. Choosing to stay takes just as much effort as choosing to go, because there will always be emotional strains and drains, so the question is, which option is right for me?
So right now, I am choosing to focus on myself. If a man happens to come along, fantastic, if not, then I'm going to be just fine. It has taken me my whole life plus some extended time I therapy to recognize that I am what is best for me. And that I am so lucky, blessed, and grateful for myself and my happiness.
Have a great rest of your weekend before the dreaded Monday arrives, and Go Pats! :-)
Sunday, September 30, 2012
Friday, September 28, 2012
So it's been quite a while since I've been around these parts, huh? A few months ago I decided to try a different blog site and see what would happen. Then one day I came back here and decided that what was best for me was to begin really blogging here, where I had started, so that all of my embarrassing posts were here. It's a way of accepting myself by accepting my past, which is something I'm definitely not good at. So the past few days, for almost a week really, I've been trying to figure out how I wanted to re-introduce myself, what I wanted to plan for this blog, for myself. But, life always has a way of changing things.
This morning I received a text from my dad, saying that a friend of our family had passed away last night. Her name is Gail, and while I only really ever saw her at the Football cookouts and parties during the Fall and Winter, plus that one time in Vegas, I still can't believe she is gone. She hadn't been sick, one day about a week and a half ago she colapsed at her salon, and once she had been rushed to the ER, they found out she had had an aneurysm. Yesterday, they took her off of life support, as she had been in a drug-induced coma. I just can't believe in the blink of an eye, she is gone. I saw here just 3 weeks ago at the Football Kick-off Cookout, we talked about my recent trip to England and how awesome the Patriots were doing that first game.
Life is so delicate. That's all I can think of this morning, how incredibly everything changes and so quickly. I've been reading "The Happiness Project" by Gretchen Rubin, and have been trying to become more aware of my life, about making more decisions and not just floating along. I also found a great link yesterday via Pinterest:
And it's all lead my to this one conclusion. Life is so short, and I'm so sick of waiting around for it to happen. I have been one of those people who are constantly too afraid to make a mistake, so I end up not doing much of anything. So that is my Happiness Project right now, to start "living deliberately" (now that I finally understand what the hell Thoreau was talking about...). I am sick of regrets, I am sick of not enjoying myself. So I'm not going to do those things anymore. I am going to live life fully. Always. <3 I'm still in the planning phase of how to go about living deliberately, but I definitely didn't want that to deter me from writing this post I had been procrastinating. Because if I hadn't done it now, who knows if I ever would have gotten the chance...
~Elizabeth
This morning I received a text from my dad, saying that a friend of our family had passed away last night. Her name is Gail, and while I only really ever saw her at the Football cookouts and parties during the Fall and Winter, plus that one time in Vegas, I still can't believe she is gone. She hadn't been sick, one day about a week and a half ago she colapsed at her salon, and once she had been rushed to the ER, they found out she had had an aneurysm. Yesterday, they took her off of life support, as she had been in a drug-induced coma. I just can't believe in the blink of an eye, she is gone. I saw here just 3 weeks ago at the Football Kick-off Cookout, we talked about my recent trip to England and how awesome the Patriots were doing that first game.
Life is so delicate. That's all I can think of this morning, how incredibly everything changes and so quickly. I've been reading "The Happiness Project" by Gretchen Rubin, and have been trying to become more aware of my life, about making more decisions and not just floating along. I also found a great link yesterday via Pinterest:
And it's all lead my to this one conclusion. Life is so short, and I'm so sick of waiting around for it to happen. I have been one of those people who are constantly too afraid to make a mistake, so I end up not doing much of anything. So that is my Happiness Project right now, to start "living deliberately" (now that I finally understand what the hell Thoreau was talking about...). I am sick of regrets, I am sick of not enjoying myself. So I'm not going to do those things anymore. I am going to live life fully. Always. <3 I'm still in the planning phase of how to go about living deliberately, but I definitely didn't want that to deter me from writing this post I had been procrastinating. Because if I hadn't done it now, who knows if I ever would have gotten the chance...
~Elizabeth
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)