Lets Be Honest

If you can't be honest on the Internet, where can you, am I right? Okay, there may be some flawed logic in there, but follow me on this. 1 year ago I met my current boyfriend, we were both training for a couple of races. I was consistently running and exercising, because I was hell-bent on running a half marathon. (Yeah, we all know how that ended.) Anyways, I run a couple of 5ks, and was slated for a 10k and half marathon in July, great! Then, my Aunt Diane passed, and I just stopped running, I was so focused on moving 500 miles away and not dealing with the emotions behind losing a loved one that I didn't even miss it when I initially stopped running. In July I ran the 10k, on little to no training. Which, holy crap girl, that's insane! But I realized a half marathon would just about kill me, so I didn't run it. Nor did I run the other half marathon that I had scheduled for October, once I got to VA.

Once I moved to VA I was running around like a nut (and still am) trying to juggle life and Graduate School. So in November I finally caved and bought bigger jeans and work pants. And now those pants and my regular shirts are way too tight/ don't fit. My eating habits are atrocious, and my exercise routine is nonexistent. I didn't make any crazy New Years resolutions because two days after Christmas I lost my Uncle Richard. Which just brought up even more emotional turmoil. I've learned these past few months that I take emotional and stress eating to whole new levels. And trust me, I wasn't exactly a small girl to begin with. 

Which brings me to this morning, I weighted in at 271.2 lbs. That's about 50lbs in 8 months. But honestly, most of that has been heavily concentrated in the last 6 months. I don't know what was sadder, that I've hit number, or that I wasn't blown away by it either. Between working full time in a very sedentary job, going to grad school, and being out on my own for the first time, this backslide/complete free fall is understandable, but not acceptable. 

So, the buck stops here. I can't even believe I shared my weight with the Internet, but I need to make drastic changes, and so that's what I want to use this space for, my weight-loss. I started it off by packing my lunch, so I can avoid the crappy lunch options near my office. I plan on making my own meal this evening, and it might just need include a salad. I want to change, I need to change, but I'm terrified of change because, well, I'm human. But there is no way in which I can't find a way to lose and maintain a healthier weight and lifestyle. My life literally depends on it.

So stick with me as I figure out how to kick some ass won't ya?